a life now incomplete.

Just about everyday still, I remember something I was forced to leave behind and get depressed all over again.. no matter how long I play games or watch TV shows and movies. It seems my media is just fighting a losing battle now. I’ll miss that microwave egg cooker plate thing (even though I was getting too lazy to even use it), the marble towel roll holder we had had for years (roll now just sits alone.. without a home), the yardstick we had used to.. reach for things.. All kinds of items that held memories. Everyday, thinking of something small like those.. All those books I wish I had saved.. probably thrown out by now.. or sold.. The thought alone makes my stomach ache. 😦

I guess in the latter years, my life became more about possessions because I thought they wouldn’t hurt me like humans easily could. But as usual, I was wrong. I didn’t expect items to go away like humans do, but they did. And now I feel incomplete.. Also in those latter years, my dad became my butler or roommate more than my father. I regret that. Some of my possession addiction may have stemmed from finally being able to spend time with him. Our interests forked.. and I missed him. We used spend time together. But with things costing more money for him, that eventually stopped. But every week, I was able to take a drive with him to get more discs. And then I would save some TV and movies so that we could watch them together. But in the latter days, he slept a lot more…

I’ve at last got the HDMI cable to work so I can finally see what’s partly the big deal about Blu-ray besides the fancy blue cases. My first purchased Blu-ray was Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (gotten at a good deal due to a price match screw-up), then my first purchased one watched was The Dark Knight… So it sort of felt right that the first purchased Blu-ray watched in HD video quality (audio still goes into the TV) would be.. Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Yup, still getting some older unwatched Blu-rays out of the way. The movie was alright. Seemed more kiddy than the previous two.. Awesome picture though.

I’d probably feel a third better or so if I could just find those first four Harry Potter Ultimate Edition Blu-rays. But I’ve pretty much looked into every box I have here and nothing. They cost me about $30 each.. and now I have the recent 5th & 6th here too. Not much point in having them without those first four. Damnit. Those guys better not have stolen them. Though I’d say it’s pretty likely they did by this point. Or they got lost among all the other junk he had in the back of his truck.. I would call and inquire.. but.. I obviously can’t and no one else seems to care enough about the matter to do so.. And on top of that I’m still finding plenty of disc cases damaged by them carelessly throwing the boxes about during the move. Definitely not worth what I paid them. 😡

I was going to look through my collection of video retailer magazines and throw a good amount of them out.. but anymore I’m too depressed-lazy-uncaring to do that. So in the closet they stay for now. I have quite a few more discs that were displayed on a bookcase because they were spayshul (great TV show seasons, plus movie series like Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings).. but the bookcase didn’t come along so I guess they must stay in there crappy boxes as well. The very few visitors I get seem surprised there’s still so many boxes not unpacked.. as if I have a place to store these items outside of their boxes. Silly humans.

I also finally watched my Netflix selection today — Due Date. lol, funny stuff. I liked it.. and I need to laugh. So the unexpected “can’t let go of dad” subplot was surely.. unexpected. -_- ..And with any way I step forward comes the inevitable two steps back. The TV has been blinking snow very rarely for a little while now, possibly due to keeping it turned on 24/7. It’s mainly been shortly after turning it on.. but now of course it’s done it a few times after switching from the PS3’s HD feed to the cable box’s SD feed.. so that’s just plain fucking awesome news.

I would say the main thing in the way of doing daily entries again would be that I’m playing games a lot more often. So I maybe put the PC online mainly to download some TV for maybe a day.. then leave the modem on the PS3 for 2 or 3 days at a time. Oh and the new chair for my “new” smaller computer desk isn’t all that comfortable, so I’ve been limiting my time on it.

The cat did make the move with me.. for now. The place doesn’t allow pets, but something is very slowly in the process of being worked out. Ugh. He hides whenever someone comes to the door. He had only known the previous apartment his entire life, so that’s understandable.. This place is said to be full, but I haven’t really seen any of my neighbors yet. I still choose to go and check the mail late at night. No interaction is better than an awkward interaction..?

See ya.. I guess..


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